what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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