i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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