There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
