Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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