Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
