I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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