Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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