is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
