yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
