those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
