i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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