let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
