she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize