I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
