WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
