Kiss
Puke
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
