Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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