i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
