I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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