Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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