So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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