Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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