with your own penis?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
