it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
