pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Terrible idea I love it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
