Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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