So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
