Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize