I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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