I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
