Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
