If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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