he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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