He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
