i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
May the power of my ass compel you!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
