Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
