just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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