I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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