I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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