If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
