I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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