Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
