The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think people are normalizing furries
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
