five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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