did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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