so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
