Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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