you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
