id be glad to
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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