i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
