The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
