it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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