This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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