so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
