Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
