I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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