Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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