How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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